He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
