It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
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He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
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I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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