oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
