dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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