Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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