i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Randomize
