I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
you inspire me to be a worse person
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
