What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Can I color on your dick again?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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