I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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