i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
