is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
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i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
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Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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