I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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