What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I looked at my own cervix.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
