It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
