Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
