I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
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