Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
