First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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