I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
