Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
