I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
