the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
