i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
We talked him into tasing himself.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Randomize
