she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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