i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
