I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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