...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
