Duck Duck Cougar?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
