you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
