Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
