He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize
