That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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