Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
my shit smells like andre
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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