ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
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