That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
