Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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