Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
