Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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