Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
