I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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