I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
