I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
