I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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