Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
