we have officially lost it.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
