I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
