i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
It's official drugs can't kill me
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize
