i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize