I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
