you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
