just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
