Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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