yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
