I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
