Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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