get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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