I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
