I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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