Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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