Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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