I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
