we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
