He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Randomize
