All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
