I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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