He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
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