No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I enjoy the company of your penis
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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