apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
they're like a gay fantastic four
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
