the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
